Last night as the ground disappeared underneath my feet and I fell into a black dark hole, I thought I had died and was gone. For a couple of moments I was totally out of control and could not grasp what had happened. Where had I gone? Was I dead? Or was I transported to another dimension? It did not feel like I was on earth anymore. Lying there in complete darkness, suddenly taken out of my normal earthly feeling of groundedness I felt fear, shock and yet a feeling of peacefulness. Like I had just received a gift from the Universe. The gift of letting go and allowing all to be taken away.
As I just had been talking about dying and feeling death in my contemplation and meditation, I sensed that this was an insight into how death will suddenly happen, and how it most probably will surprise and startle us all. Death will probably not give us a notice before: Hey I will come by tomorrow. No. Suddenly it will just be there at your doorstep. And before you know it, it has taken over you. You will probably wonder; What happened? Where am I? And struggle to grasp the situation.
We all have to go through that portal of confusion to find acceptance of the powerlessness of death. We can not control death. We can only surrender. No other option. Period.
So contemplating death on a regular basis can have a profound effect on how we live our lives, busily hurrying towards a goal in the future that might never happen. And then BOOM. Gone. All of it. All the goals and the struggle to get there. Left is nothing. All we are given is this moment. This raw shaky alive moment. Each new breath. Nothing more. Nothing less.
Well I did not die yesterday, although on some level I spiritually died or got a deeper feeling of death. I came out of the whole incident, (which could have ended really badly with me falling into a deep cemented sewage ditch with a lot of possible harmless material) with just some scratches, a sore knee, some fear and trauma and deeper reverence for the frailty of life and the sudden surrender of death.
This was my welcome back to Bali last night. Now, this morning I am spending time with myself and nature, contemplating the gift I received, allowing it to touch the deepest corners of my being.
Our lives our not to be taken for granted. How can you connect to the fragility of life today and find deeper appreciation and gratitude for you being alive on this amazing planet right now?
I am offering healing sessions and spiritual inspiration sessions, which would be a great gift for you or for a friend this coming Holidays, if you are interested please click below…
Take care. Mira