Hi lovely ones,
So ok yesterday I took a huge step in stepping forth with my creative work with Dakini. It felt great, just like a ripe plum that is ready to be eaten…
Today I feel terrified! Woke up feeling totally anxious with all my old mindset and programming running around… Who do I think I am to take any space thinking I actually have something to offer?!!!! That old, old voice within, the saboteaur that wants to sabotage and pull away from life… I guess I am not the only one having that voice, but I find it so important to dare to be open and transparant about the darkness within. When we can see and give voice to all that subconscious chaos that just automatically moves around inside of the mind, when we confess it, we can take one step back and in that space take one deep breath. Ahh. One deep full breath is all it takes to make some more space around the experience…
“Wow, what is really going on in the moment?” Being curious and listening. “Wow that is really interesting, just that thought right there… and that is really a juicy feeling”… by doing so I am the listener, the one experiencing this life with all its darkness and light. And I am actually alive, relaxing and saying yes to this experience called Life!
One more deep breath. Connecting back to reality. I am here. Breathing. Feeling sensations, emotions and thoughts. They actually dont have power over me, unless I try to push them away or hold on to them, then it turns into a continous battle that I for sure will loose.
What I am looking for is always here in that one breath, that guides me back home to this Now. I often refer to the breath as my best friend. It is always in the moment, in the Now. It cant be anywhere else. And it always gently takes me back to trust, love, acceptance and prescence. It shows me what is true and not true about me. What I can let go of and what I can receive deeper. My breath. My deepest friend in each new moment.
So today I dedicate myself to my breath, to breath even deeper, facing my fears and darkness. And in that spaciousness of inviting and accepting my breath into my body I am letting all of the experiences right now be Me. yes all of it being ME.
I take these beautidul words with me that I read this morning:
“Dont try and escape from yourself; you cannot be anyone else. You have a definite destiny and individuality. Just as your thumb makes a print, unique and individual – that type of thumb has never existed before and will never exist again, it belongs only to you, there will never be another like it – the same is the case with your being. You have a being unique and individual, incomparable; it has never been before, it will never be again, only you have it. Celebrate it! Something unique has happened to everyone, God has given a unique gift to everyone and you condemn it. You want something better! You try to be wiser than the existence, you try to be wiser than Tao, then you go wrong. ”
OSHO – Intimacy, Trusting Oneself and the Other
(Such a great book, read it!)
Ok sweethearts, have a great day and enjoy yourself, enjoy your breath and know that this day is unique including yourself! Celebrate it!